I’ve always used a hodgepodge of oil paints over my career. I was never loyal to a brand. I bought whatever colors I needed when available at the store with TONS of mediums to get my paint to do cute little tricks—dry at different rates—thickening and thinning agents, drying rates, and the like.

Then, “It” happened. I stumbled into some oil paint on YouTube that made all sorts of claims, each additional claim was music to my ears. (I’ve given up on love from a good woman, but I was still holding out hope for the perfect oil.) My imagination went crazy and I started itemizing all the steps this oil brand would eliminate … if the paint performed as promised. That’s a big if.

The moment I opened the first tube … a beam of sunlight shined down from the ceiling. The little songbirds, chipmunks, and squirrels came to my window and gazed in. Gnomes stood on oversized and colorful mushrooms that grew up from the ground and in unison, the gnomes and all the wildlife started chanting, “Badass. Badass. Badass.” It was like a big toga party, except we didn’t party and there were no togas.

I love this paint. The colors are massively more vibrant than I’ve ever used, seen, or imagined. I can paint straight from the tube. It doesn’t smell like freshly baked bread, but it does smell equally good. I’m not killing brain cells with chemicals, doubling my vision, getting dizzy, slowly poisoning myself, or talking to people who aren’t actually in the room with me or even real. You know, the little things that make me happy.

If anyone asks me in the future, “Gee Be, how do you get your colors so vivid?” I’m just going to answer, “Well, I’m just that good.”

So today, I’ll start blocking in the marlin’s eye and the same with the smoker bait ….. using some damned vivid paint colors … because I’m just that good.